Bonnie's secret, a Kim Possible fanfic
by cruddlesticks
Summary: Kim helps Bonnie deal with a personal tragedy


This is my very first fanfic EVER, so i hope it is good. I'm just starting to watch KP again, so I'm only just getting into the feel again. i simply wanted to try and explain WHY Bonnie is so mean and nasty. i also wanted to explain why her father is absent. So the two merged. This will most likely be a one-shot story, so don't expect TOO much. Also, full disclosure, I'm a dude, so i just hope i capture the female feeling for my readers, lol. Anyway, here we go!!!!

Kim Possible finished changing into her Middleton High cheerleader uniform, and walked into the gym. As usual she was the last to arrive. The other cheerleaders sat on the bleachers, applying lipstick or make-up, or texting on their phones. Off to the side, her best friend/ on-and-off boyfriend Ron Stoppable stood, sharing a burrito with his naked mole rat, Rufus. Kim shook her head. 'Am i the only one at this school who ISN'T a zombie'? she thought to herself. Suddenly she noticed something: Bonnie, her arch- nemesis (at school anyway, not counting the ruthless villains she took down every other day), wasn't in the room. Where was she? It wasn't like her to be late. In fact she usually made it a point to be first EVERYWHERE, so she could rub it in others faces. Usually Kim's. As if reading her mind, one of the cheerleaders sauntered over to Kim. "Hey Kim, you seen Bonnie? I like, haven't seen her since this morning. She totally disappeared. I dunno why, but, this morning she looked weird. I wonder what's wrong. Can you please go look for her Kim"? Kim sighed. "Sure. I'll go look. " As she headed for the door, she couldn't help but feel like she'd rather fight Shego again than talk to Bonnie alone...

After checking all the classrooms, and the girl's bathroom, Kim had not found Bonnie. She was just about to give up and return to the gym when she noticed that the front doors of the school were slightly open. Curiously she walked towards the door, as she did she heard a sound. It sounded like... crying? Finally she reached the door and pushed it open. There, on the stairs sat Bonnie, in her uniform, head hung down, her shouders shaking as she sobbed. Kim was so surprised to see her enemy crying that for a moment she stood rooted to the spot. Suddenly Bonnie looked up at Kim. "Oh, it's YOU", she snapped, in her usual condescending tone. " What the hell do you want, Possible?" Snapping back to reality, Kim remembered why she waa here. "Um, it's time for practice. The others were wondering where you were. Look, if you don't want to go I'll just tell them..." But she trailed off as she noticed Bonnie wasn't looking at her anymore, just gazing across the street, as she sniffed, occasionally breathing heavily. Against her better instincts, Kim stepped forward, closing the door behind her. "Look, Bonnie, what's wrong? Is everything ok? If there's something you need to talk about, just tell me. I'm sure i can..." "Oh sure!!!!" Bonnie interrupted. "As always, Kim Possible, sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, prying into everyone's business, no doubt cause your life is so boring. Just fuck off, Kim, ok??!!!"

For some reason, those words stung more than Bonnie's other usual remarks. Disgusted, Kim got up and made to go back into the school. Suddenly, she heard Bonnie say, behind her "wait, Kim, don't go. im... I'm sorry, ok. Please, please come back. Sit down. I'll tell you. I need to tell SOMEBODY. Come here."

Kim sat down again next to Bonnie, and looked her in the face. With her long brown hair, perfect nose and lips, and flawless skin, Bonnie looked like the ideal cheerleader. Except for the angry scowl she almost always wore. Today though, that scowl was (for the moment anyway) gone, replaced by a deep look of despair, along with an almost haunted look in her dark eyes, which were puffy from her tears. "Bonnie, what's wrong?" Kim asked, using the tone she usually reserved for her brothers, the Tweebs Jim and Tim, when attempting to sweet-talk them from doing something stupid. or dangerous, or both.

It was a moment before Bonnie answered. "Kim, can you, um... could YOU lead cheer today? Please? I can't do it. Not... not today. I can't face it. Not today. I thought i could. But, i just can't bring myself. Not on this day.. Not on... on the day he... i..." Suddenly she started crying furiously again. Kim, not sure what to do, hesitated a moment before reaching out and putting a comforting hand on Bonnie's shoulder. For a second Kim half expected her to shrug her shouder, yell at her, or even try to bite her hand. But she just continued crying, although a little less furiously. "After another long moment Kim asked again. " Bonnie, what is wrong? Please. Tell me."

It was a moment before Bonnie looked up."

It was this day. One year ago to this day. Last year. The day he died. "

"Who?", Kim asked. " Who died?" "My dad", Bonnie answered." Sometimes it still doesn't feel real. It's been a year, but it still feels like only yesterday. "

Kim felt a surprising stab of pity for the mean girl. "Oh my god, Bonnie. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. How? What happened?"

"Cancer.", Bonnie said. "He didn't feel sick until it waa too late, and by the time he was diagnosed it was too late. It had spread too far, including to his brain. " I, me and my mom, were with him to the end. He died, in my parents bed. I think that's why my mom sleeps in the guest room a lot. Too painful to lie in the bed where he took his last breath. "

Kim realized her mouth was hanging open in shock. She closed it, but quickly opened it again to say " oh my god, Bonnie. I, really don't know what to say. I had no idea. " Then she realized: nobody ELSE knew either. As far as she knew.

"But wait, how come nobody else at school knows? None of your friends, the teachers? I've seen your mom at school events but she never talks about it. About HIM. " Bonnie was quiet for a moment before she answered. " His last wish was that NOBODY knew, except immediate family. The funeral was small, attended only by family. My dad was well-known around town, for his generosity, donating to charity, like orphanages and animal shelters. And helping organize parties and festivals. The last thing he wanted was people shedding tears, when he spent his life trying to make others happy. Plus, he knew it would lead to lots of questions for US, me and my mom, about stuff. Money and things, you know? He didn't want people hounding us. As far as anybody knows he's away on an extended holiday or business trip. "

Kim nodded. " I see." She understood perfectly. She herself had a hard time always having to find excuses about her many abcences from school, when she was on a mission. It was hard keeping up the lies, the masquerade. So the drama. She also understood Bonnie's grief. Kim herself always lived with the fear, every day, that she might lose somebody she loved: her mother, her dad, one or both of her brothers. Ron. Although she feared losing them, she could never bring herself to picture the scenario, their death. The fallout. The aftershock, picking up the pieces. It was just too horrifying, too depressing and soul-crushing to imagine, even for a second. But the thought, the fear, was always there.

"I'm really sorry", she managed to say again. "Really Bonnie, i had no idea. I'm... if there is ANYTHING i can do..." she trailed off, unsure what to say. The two teenagers sat in silence for a moment, gazing into the sky, as the bright sun in the Middleton sky dried the tears on Bonnie's cheeks. After a moment, Bonnie spoke. "It's just me and my mom now, you know? My sisters both moved away after they turned 18. They came for the funeral, but left after. I hardly talk to them anymore. Why would they want to talk to ME? They're more beautiful, more successful. I'm the runt, the loser. It took a funeral, a fucking FUNERAL, to bring the family together. " Bonnie closed her eyes in frustration,as new tears trickled out.

"I don't know where you go when you leave school Kim, but you're lucky to get to travel. When my dad died, my mom just sort of shut down. She used to love vacationing, going on road trips and cruises. Now we only rarely leave Middleton. It's like she's a different person now. She's sort of confused too. Sometimes she calls me by one of my sister's names. She pretends she's all right, acts happy and cheery, but she's lost in her grief. She goes to the cemetery almost every day, to visit his grave. EVERY DAY. In fact, she's probably there now. I've only been once or twice. I just can't face it, you know? The reality. It's like, i can almost live with the lie, you know? That he's only AWAY. As long as i don't visit his grave, or see the bed he and my mom used to lay. I just can't face it."

"But you HAVE to, Bonnie.", Kim said. "Eventually you have to. Eventually you must move on. I mean, by TELLING me this, you've obviously accepted it a bit. And, like in the next few years when we graduate, you CAN be like your sisters. Successful, famous, whatever. Do him proud, Bonnie. it's what he would WANT. "

Bonnie didn't respond,so Kim went on. "Another thing, i understand it's painful, Bonnie, and you obviously feel a lot of grief, but lashing out all the time, being mean to everyone, won't take your pain away. It will only PUSH people away. People who want to help. You have friends, people who care for you. "

Bonnie looked up. "Why would YOU care about me, want to help me, then, if you think I'm a bitch?" "I DON'T think you're a bitch, Bonnie. i just understand you're in a lot of pain. And you obviously need somebody to talk to. If you and your sisters aren't close, then maybe talk to your mom. You said she's lost, after your dad died. You obviously NEED each other, Bonnie. My mom is a busy person, being a surgeon. But she's ALWAYS home for her family. And because we have a bond, i know i can always talk to her about anything. School. Money. Boys. The future. And, although you don't like him, i also have Ron, and although i can't talk with him the same way i can my mom, i know i can trust him. Point is, you simply need people you can go to when you're in pain. Like you did to me. I understand you're in a great deal of pain,but lashing out, being angry, only temporarily numbs the pain. It doesn't heal it. And eventually you feel the added pain of guilt. "

Bonnie looked down at her knees. "You're right, Kim. Sometimes i DO feel bad. I know you mean well. I guess I'm mean sometimes cause i know you have it easier. Have it better. Cause you have both parents, siblings who LIVE with you. Who talk to you. And you can make friends easier. So, maybe I'm just jealous.

In spite of herself, Kim laughed. "Bonnie, there's no need to be jealous. Believe me. My brothers drive me crazy. And sometimes my parents embarrass me. But yes, i still love them. More than anything. And i know they'd do anything for me. " Suddenly, Kim had an idea, and before she could stop herself, she asked: " Why don't you come over for dinner tonight? "

Bonnie looked up. "Huh? Dinner? Your house?" Kim nodded. "Yes. I'm sure you could use a distraction. People to talk to. And maybe..." Kim hesitated a second, before finishing her thought. " Maybe being around a family, well, maybe it will remind you of the good days. When you had both parents. When your sisters were at home. I know the Tweebs are no substitute, but, at least they're entertaining. "

Bonnie snickered. " Wait a second, the who?" "The Tweebs. It's what i call my brothers. So, will you come?"

Bonnie thought for a second. "Sure. Ok. I'll come. Oh, should i bring my mom? I mean, her and your mom used to hang out, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind. And like you said, maybe SHE could use a distraction too". "Sure, bring your mom. The more the merrier. "

The girls sat in silence again for a second, then Kim reached out and hugged Bonnie.

To her surprise, Bonnie returned the hug. "I'll lead the cheer practice today, ok?" Kim said, as they broke up the hug. "Don't worry, I've done it before. So not the drama. " Bonnie smiled slightly. "Thanks,Kim. And if anyone asks, you don't know where i went. ", she added,as she stood up and brushed her uniform off.

" Wait, where ARE you going?, Kim asked.

Bonnie turned to her. "I'm going to the cemetery, to visit my dad's grave. You're right, Kim. I HAVE to face it. I have to learn to live with it. I can't avoid it forever. Can't shut it out forever. With any luck, my mom will be there, and her and i can have that talk. " Kim smiled. " Good luck, Bonnie. You're still coming to dinner tonight, right?"

"Yes, we will", Bonnie said, as she started walking. " I'll tell my mom when i see her. We'll see you all tonight. "Awesome", Kim said. "I'll tell my mom to set out plates for two more. "

As she headed back into the building, she heard Bonnie say behind her: " Um, Kim, just because we had this talk, and just cause I'm coming over tonight, it doesn't make us friends or anything. Understand?" Bonnie said this in her usual gruff way, with her usual scowl, but as they looked at each other, Kim noted the corner of Bonnie's mouth lift up, very slightly, in an almost-smile.

"No, of course not." Kim responded,with an almost-smile of her own.

So each girl headed off in her own direction, each lost in her thoughts. But they both noticed their steps were easier, their burdens slightly lifted. For Bonnie, she realized that maybe, just maybe, she could learn to accept her loss. Live with the pain each day, until it passed. Kim had shown it that it was possible. If you simply opened your heart to others, they could help mend it, no matter how broken it was.

For Kim, it was learning that even people who you once saw as enemies, had hearts and souls, angels and demons. They were as human as she was. Although she foiled evil plans on an almost daily basis, having a candid conversation was the hardest task of all. High school life was indeed the hardest mission of all, life, the hardest task. But as her father liked the say: "Anything is possible, for a Possible. "

The End

So, what did you think? Was it ok, for a debut fanfic? Any questions/comments/suggestions? I have many other fanfics in mind, for a wide range of shows, games, books, etc. Take a look at my profile to see my list of ideas, and let me know which you'd MOST like to see next. And if you have any suggestions, let me know!!!


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